Letters to our Daughters: I overcame an inability to forgive my father

January 27, 2016

 

Dear Girls,

 

I have overcome an inability to forgive.  When I was very young, I was exposed to my mother being physically abused by my father.  Even while she was pregnant with my younger brother, my father was not able to restrain himself from torturing the family.  For obvious reasons, they divorced before I was 5 yo and I grew up resenting him for a number of reasons - the abuse, being absent and I also blamed him for my younger brother's birth defects and ultimate death (my brother died at the age of 7 yo). 

 

Like so many other young women, growing up without a father really caused me to question my value and worth during my teenage and young adult years and I yearned for the opportunity to find true peace and a sense of value.  

 

Well I did, and it was through forgiveness.  I was called to serve my father during his last two years of life.  Caring for him and experiencing him in his weakest moments helped me to realize that the person who I thought had intentionally failed me as a father was merely a man.  Someone who had made mistakes along the way, mistakes that he was not proud of, and who deserved my forgiveness.  I prayed to receive the courage to truly forgive my father for all of the hurt that his actions had created and when I did, I felt that the weight of the world had been lifted from off my shoulders.  I was able to truly value him, but most importantly, I was able to value me.

 

 

I find that many young women who are raised without fathers forget that they are Princesses - worthy of the greatest love, respect and support.  I encourage any of you who read this to find it within yourself to forgive either of your parents (whether father or mother) who you feel have failed you. 

 

Most people are truly giving the best they have to offer.  What is most important is that you realize that despite their shortcomings, you are still precious, valuable and worthy of respect and honor.  You define your worth  and you teach others how to treat you.  You are a Princess, developing into a Queen!  This is true despite who has failed you.  This is a realization that is much easier to have with a pure, forgiving heart :) 

 

xoxo,

Nicole

 

 

Learn more about Quenesha

 

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ABOUT Letters to our Daughters

 

Letters to Our Daughters is a B2F Girls! campaign that aspires to empower girls with the courage to overcome obstacles and follow their dreams as they learn from women who have overcome many challenges and have positioned themselves to live a fierce life. We hope that the stories will be healing and empowering for both the writer and the reader.
 

ABOUT B2F Girls!

 

B2F Girls! is on a mission to equip girls nationally with healthy self-esteem so that they can be the best version of themselves. When this happens, everyone benefits. B2F Girls! offers a robust certification program and training intensive, complete with resources, implementation guides and support for women who have a calling to mentor girls. We also produce national female empowerment events.

 

OUR HISTORY

 

B2F Girls! initially started as an organization called Tween Style Power that offered free local workshops for girls ages 10-17 that addressed the areas of self-worth, body image and leadership. After our first successful year of implementation, we began to notice we were receiving an influx of women from various parts of the country asking how they could implement a similar program for the girls in their communities. It was then that we recognized a gap that required a systematic and accessible way of providing the training we were already offering. This made way for the launch of B2F Girls!

 

 

 

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